That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
Randomize
