What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
We were destined to go to rehab together
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
