Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
