Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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