i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
