This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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