i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
