I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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