my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
