6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
