I feel great
I just peed on a car
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Randomize
