watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
