Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
