a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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