Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
3 2 1 whiskey
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize
