hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
