Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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