She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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