this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Randomize
