I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I want her autograph on my taint
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
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