I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
