is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Randomize
