I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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