you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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