I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
