Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
