my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
