Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
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