Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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