I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
