That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
I just cut my nipple shaving
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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