SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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