Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
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