When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize
