My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize
