In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
