ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
