fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
