clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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