ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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