you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
