My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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