did you get engaged???
we made out on top of his cat.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
