last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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