dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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