I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
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