Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Randomize
