I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
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