allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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