This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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