I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
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