What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
