You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
