you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
