im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize