It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
